As hard as you've worked to ignore 'Honey Boo Boo' and the rest of the Shannon clan from their ubiquitous TLC reality series in recent years, the network has made it that much easier, and for good reason. The notoriously reality-skewing network has officially canceled 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo' altogether, following troubling reports that “Mama June” Shannon had resumed a relationship with a convicted child molester.
If you haven't yet seen TLC's 'Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo' we applaud you. You're better than us. But let us give you a quick refresher course. Honey Boo-Boo has three sisters; Pumpkin, Chubbs and Chickadee. Eighteen-year-old Chickadee just had a baby named Kaitlyn (white trash nickname forthcoming). Kaitlyn has three thumbs. And they feed her Mountain Dew. We'll let you decide whether those two things are related.
When news hit that 'Toddlers & Tiaras' breakout star "Honey Boo Boo" would be getting her own reality show, we all collectively dropped our jaws. Not only does this have the potential to be a huge mess filled with "Go-Go Juice"-induced comas and all around chaos, it also looks like it'll be incredibly addicting to watch.
Don't believe us? We've all seen previews for the upcoming 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,' but TLC's latest promo for the show has a lot more that we haven't seen.
What's worse than watching a bunch of ill-fit mothers spray tan their 6-year-olds, force packets of sugar down their throats, and make them prance around on stage in a Madonna-inspired cone bra? Probably nothing. But TLC is coming close to the next worst thing with a 'Toddlers & Tiaras' spin-off starring "Go-Go Juice" guzzler, Alana "Honey Boo Boo Child."
You know, something had certainly felt amiss of late. Perhaps it's that we've reached the season (series, if you're unlucky) finale portion of the year, which always means our favorite shows approach some kind of climactic kiss or coupling, hopefully just as satisfying as we've all imagined it. Yet, for many it's been nagging: When comes the inhumanly gross and unsatisfying part?
For 230-pound pro-wrestlers, it's steroids. For forty-pound five-year-old pageant queens, it's sugar. TLC's already controversial 'Toddlers & Tiaras' took the "pageant crack" scandal to new heights when five-year-old Isabella's mom, Susanna had her tired daughter downing straight sugar packets in last night's season five premiere.