This morning we gazed upon the news that Miami Heat icon LeBron James would curiously partner with Starz for a rags-to-riches sitcom, thought it seems that was far from the most absured headline of the day. 'Vanilla Ice Goes Amish' will succeed the 'Vanilla Ice Project' on the Do-It-Yourself network in October, something we'd spit-take if our coffees weren't already preciously Irish.

Following Vanilla Ice (real name: Rob Van Winkle)'s earlier series about home renovation, The Hollywood Reporter reveals that 'Vanilla Ice Goes Amish' will see the 1990s pop star/Ninja Turtle enthusiast traveling to the country's largest Amish settlement in Ohio, in order to learn about hand craftsmanship, barn raising, and the community spirit between brothers.

As per the spirit of the show, Vanilla Ice will first complete renovations on an Amish family's kitchen without the aid of any electrically-powered tools, instead utilizing more earthy tools and Amish methods to undertake construction. Insert jokes about Vanilla Ice melting without a refrigerator, rinse, and repeat.

'Vanilla Ice Goes Amish' will premiere on the DIY network Saturday, October 12 at 10:00 p.m., while similar projects 'Rev Run's Project' and 'Daryl's Restoration Over-Hall Project' will follow in early 2014. We advise you not to drink as heavily watching, as we did writing. To Vanilla Ice!