The Bachelorette

In yesterday’s recap, I predicted that the 25 men on this season of The Bachelorette would choose Britt to be the woman they would all simultaneously date in a way that is not at all weird or uncomfortable. My wife, who got me hooked on this show in the first place and has a sixth sense for its plot twists, predicted it would be Kaitlyn, and she was right. My big mistake: Buying in to the narrative presented by The Bachelorette producers that most of the men were there for Britt, and were utterly smitten by her vivacious charm and outgoing demeanor. In doing so, I forgot the cardinal rule of The Bachelorette: Everything we see is a distorted version of reality, coaxed into being by the show specifically to swerve viewers with shocking twists. Trusting anything shown in The Bachelorette is like trusting a magician when he tells you he really sawed a woman in half.

Conveniently, Mad Men ended the night before the eleventh season of The Bachelorette premiered on ABC. That means, by pure process of elimination, that The Bachelorette is now officially the best show on television.

This week, on 'The Bachelorette' finale, Emily's whittled down the field to the bizarre love triangle of dutch race car driver, Arie and Mormon bottled water mogul, Jef. And she ain't gettin' out of Curacao till she dumps one of 'em. So grab some Kleenex and steady your heart, it's time to hand out the final rose, ya'll!

We're down to the final rose, which means this week on 'The Bachelorette,' it's time for the men to spill the tea on what really went down between Emily and her twenty-five suitors across Europe, the Caribbean and back home in Charlotte. So grab some popcorn and plant yourself firmly on the couch, it's about to get real, ya'll!

With just three dudes left, Emily and her trio of suitors are headed to the beautiful island of Curacao for dates, dolphins and more endless declarations of undying love on this week's edition of 'The Bachelorette.' So put on your bathing suit and slather on the sunscreen, we're headed to the Caribbean, ya'll!

With just four guys left, 'The Bachelorette's' Emily Maynard is headed back to the States to meet their families and flush out any overbearing moms, judgemental sisters and other potential whackjob in-laws. So brush up on your manners and put on your Sunday best, it's time to meet the parents, ya'll!

This week on 'The Bachelorette,' Emily Maynard and the boys take their romance rodeo to Prague to play with puppets, "rub dogs" and have even more awkward exchanges in romantic European locales. We'll explain in just a moment so grab your passport for love, we're going to the Czech Republic, ya'll!

No, it's not 'The Hunger Games,' it's 'The Bachelorette' but the arrows are definitely flyin'! The pack of eligible men in heat has been cut down to single digits and if you think making out with eight different guys in one day is a little awkward, it's even worse in Croatia! Let's giddy-up to Dubrovnik, ya'll!

This week on 'The Bachelorette,' Emily threatens to "rip off" a certain suitor's limbs "and beat him with them," all while taking in the romance and history of London. So pour yourself a spot of tea and prepare for a downpour of drama across the pond, ya'll!

Emily Maynard is back on TV and looking for love. Because it worked out so well the first time ('The Bachelor,' Season 15). And though it's already four episodes in, we've decided to join southern belle and single mom, Maynard and her remaining suitors on this 8th season of 'The Bachelorette.' So read on, ya'll!