That ‘Black Mirror’ Dating App From ‘Hang the DJ’ Is Here to Ruin Your Relationship

First they let robot pizza trucks loose on the streets, then they taught robotic dogs to open doors. Now, Black Mirror has made another terrifying collision with reality, as a new “Hang the DJ”-inspired dating app will tell you exactly how much time you and your sweetie have left.

You’re warned of Black Mirror Season 4 spoilers from here on out, but “Hang the DJ” took place in a cryptic mandated courtship society that would match users of a certain app, and determine exactly how much time they’d spend together – hours or years – regardless of their affection for one another. An interesting idea, perhaps (it of course wasn’t what it seemed), but now real-life couples can arbitrarily destroy or strengthen their own relationships with a similar app. Just in time for Valentine’s Day!

The Coach dating app has created a feature that functions much as the Black Mirror version does; allowing users to send a URL to their match that determines relationship length with a simultaneous click. And yes, failure to observe the results at the same time will trigger “re-calibrating” that shortens the length of your relationship. What a fun couples’ activity.

That’s three down from Season 4, so presumably 2018 will next bring us wildly intrusive nanny-vision, Jesse Plemons as a (more) misogynistic spaceship captain, guinea pig memory tech and a giant collection of Black Mirror easter eggs. Oh no.

Gallery: 24 Easter Eggs From Three Seasons of ‘Black Mirror’