Wait, Does 2005’s ‘Fantastic Four’ End With a Shot of Doctor Doom’s Metal Penis?
There is a reason Fox is rebooting the Fantastic Four just a decade after Marvel’s First Family made their big-screen debut. Actually, there are a lot of reasons. The first Fantastic Four franchise, which petered out after just two movies over three years, was kind of a nightmare. It featured bizarre characterizations, laughable special effects, instantly dated pop-culture references, and impossibly dumb plot twists.
Also, 2005’s Fantastic Four ended with a shot of Doctor Doom’s metal penis.
Maybe.
(I’m like 70 percent sure.)
See for yourself. But first, the backstory. In this version of Fantastic Four, the team’s arch-enemy, Victor Von Doom, is not the hideously scarred monarch of a fictional Eastern European nation, as he’s traditionally depicted in Marvel Comics. Instead, he’s the narcissistic CEO of a tech conglomerate. This Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon) gets exposed to the same cosmic rays as the Fantastic Four, and it slowly turns his skin into an “organic metallic alloy” that’s supposedly stronger (and stupider) than diamonds.
After Doom completes his transformation to “Doctor Doom,” evildoer who flaunts his doctorate in the faces of the less educated, he battles the entire Fantastic Four in the middle of a busy Manhattan intersection. After a brief slugfest, the FF defeats Doom by roasting him with the Human Torch’s fire powers and then cooling him rapidly with a blast of water. His metal body freezes, trapping him inside as a sort of living statue.
As the smoke clears and the heroes look on anxiously, the camera slowly zooms in on Doom’s lifeless carcass. The Human Torch’s flames completely burned off his clothes, so what’s left behind is totally naked. Looking closely, you can see what appears to be Doom’s, uh, little doom.
(What follows is mildly NSFW, maybe, unless you work in Latveria, in which case you should definitely look away before you-know-who catches you looking at his you-know-what.)
First, here’s a screengrab:
Do you see it? I’ll outline it for you to make it clearer.
It even has metallic pubes!
I’ve shown this image to several experts (i.e. the rest of the ScreenCrush staff). Some were skeptical until I showed them the shot in motion. At that point, most agreed that, yes, it does appear that Fantastic Four goes full frontal. So here’s the clearest version of the scene currently available on YouTube:
And a GIF:
What do you think? I’m not crazy, right? Doom’s metal dong is just hanging out! Okay so maybe those two things aren’t mutually exclusive; I could be crazy and his metal dong could still be hanging out. Okay, so I’m definitely crazy. But that doesn’t mean it’s not there. I’m pretty convinced.
By all accounts, the rebooted Fantastic Four will be very different from the last one. The characters are all much younger this time, and they get their powers while traveling to another dimension rather than outer space. Doom is now supposedly a “computer scientist” with ties to the Storm family. There’s really just one thing the filmmakers seem to have kept from the last iteration: The franchise’s commitment to super-nudity. In this version, it’s the Thing who’s an exhibitionist (albeit a less well-endowed one). Here’s a shot from the film’s new trailer, which debuted online yesterday:
This is a weird franchise.
So what do you think? Is that Doctor Doom’s unit? Yea or nay?