Check Out These ‘Hateful Eight’ Action Figures

Hey, kids! Did your parents allow you to go see Quentin Tarantino’s blood-soaked nihilist Western The Hateful Eight in an act of gross negligence? You’re going to need a good analyst later in life, but for now, you can relive the politically tangled fun again and again with an all-new line of detailed action figures from NECA. All of your favorite characters from this pitch-black amorality play are here to growl baroque profanities and quietly plot to murder one another, just like in the movie! Even if Mom and Dad won’t tell you what a “black man’s dingus” is, that won't stop you from having a blast with eight new eight-inch-tall figurines based off of the cast members.

Each of the eight main characters gets their own individually packaged figure for the low price of $30, the collective $240 price tag being another sign that the company understands full well that kids won’t be saving up allowances to snag these. But adults of a reasonable age will have a blast posing the Kurt Russell-as-John Ruth figure (detachable arm not included), making believe that he’s projectile vomiting blood all over Academy Award nominee Jennifer Jason Leigh as Daisy Domergue. A paltry 3000 units will be produced of each figure, making these quite a collector’s item; NECA’s website says they’re expected in stores by “January 2016.” But it won’t be long until America’s most desensitized children can restage the film’s climactic lynching with nothing more than their imaginations. Perfect for birthdays!

Keep on scrolling for an up-close look at each figure: