Bitten by a radioactive hamburger bun, student Peter Parker gained the proportionate strength and agility of a cow! Armed with his wonderous soda-shooters, the reluctant superhero struggles with sinister super-villains, making ends meet, and maintaining some semblance of a normal life! Stan Lee Presents: The Amazing Spider-Burger.

Or something like that; it’s been a while since I read Amazing Fantasy #15. But I have to assume that somewhere in there was some sort of role for a strange-looking burger, because that is precisely how Burger King is promoting the new Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse film: With a “Spider-Verse Whopper” that comes on a bright red bun topped with black sesame seeds.

It all sounds like some sort of rejected storyline from Skrull Kill Krew to me, but I ate it anyway. Because that is what I do. Any time a major Hollywood production teams up with a fast food chain (or fast casual chain, I’m not picky) for some sort of tie-in movie food. I try it. All of it. 

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READ MORE: Every Into the Spider-Verse Easter Egg You Missed in Theaters

In the past, that has led to some digestively unadvisable imbroglios, like the time I ate the entire Fantastic Four menu at Denny’s, and the time I ate the entire Addams Family menu at IHOP. (My stomach was mysterious and spooky for days after that one.) Mercifully, Burger King created just two items for Across the Spider-Verse: The Spider-Verse Whopper and the Spider-Verse Sundae. So in theory, this shouldn’t be too painful. But let’s find out together, shall we?

I Ate Burger King’s Red Spider-Verse Whopper

In honor of Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, Burger King has a new “Spider-Verse Whopper” and a “Spider-Verse Sundae.” I ate them. This is my story.

I spared you from watching me eat the entire thing, but here’s a video of my initial reaction to the Spider-Verse Whopper (dutifully shot by intrepid photojournalist Jordan Hoffman):

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse opens in theaters on June 2. The Burger King Spider-Verse Whopper is available for a “limited time.” Presumably that means until they run out of red buns.

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