‘Game of Thrones’ Review: “The Night Lands”
War continues arriving! ‘Game of Thrones’ season 2 unleashes its second episode of the season, as Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen) returns home to attempt to recruit his father Balon to Robb Stark's cause, while Jon snow learns a disturbing secret about the North and Arya Stark struggles to remain hidden from the Lannisters.
Last week's ‘Game of Thrones’ premiere “The North Remembers” saw Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage) arrive in Kings’ Landing to cement his place as hand of the King, while Robb Stark continued his campaign and, and other factions rallied to vie for their claim to the throne, so what will the latest episode bring?
Read on for your in-depth recap of everything you need to know about ‘Game of Thrones’ season 2 episode “The Night Lands!”
Masking her womanly relieving of herself, Arya Stark (Maisie Williams) makes her way back to the camp and Gendry’s company, when members of the gold guard arrive. Arya thinks they’ve arrived for her, when really they seek Gendry, but Yoren drives them off by holding a knife to a…tender area.
Across the land, Tyrion finds Shae sharing laughs with Varys, and the eunuch makes it known that he’ll seek Shae’s presence a secret for his “friend.” Proclaiming not to be as honorable or gullible as Ned Stark, Tyrion threatens Varys, but Varys assures him he’s survived other regimes as well. They travel together to the meeting of the small council, where Cersei tears up Robb’s declaration from “The North Remembers.” There, they also learn of Mormont’s expedition outside the wall, and despite Tyrion’s warnings, laugh off the notion that the dead could have possibly risen among the Wildlings.
Over at the Night’s Watch expedition at Craster’s Keep, Sam swaps stories with the others, noticing the girls Craster keeps for his wives. He stops the direwolf Ghost from bothering a young girl named Gilly, before bringing her over to Jon. Though Jon insists they can do nothing about it, the girl claims to be pregnant, and shies away from answering what happens when boys are born at Craster’s keep. Over in the barren wastelands, Daenerys Targaryen and her Khalasar continue to waste away, one of her scouts’ horses returns, with the head of Rakharo inside. Jorah theorizes that it might have been one of the other Khals, displeased with the idea of a woman leading a Khalasar.
Back in Kings’ Landing, Littlefinger menacingly allows Ros a night to grieve for Mhaegan’s baby, while Tyrion entertains the head of the City Watch over dinner. Loyal though Janos may be, Tyrion replaces him with Bronn for his role in the coup against the last Hand to the King, as Bronn leads him away in custody. Musing whether or not Bronn would ever carry out such a dastardly order such as Cersei having Robert’s infant bastards killed, Bronn only replies that he’d ask how much.
As the nearby boys talk about their lack of experience in battle, Gendry reveals to Arya that he knows her to be a girl, but was unaware she was a proper lady from the Stark house. Not knowing his father to be King Robert Baratheon, he has no idea why the guards would be searching for him either, but that people who ask questions about him tend to die, much like Jon Arryn and Ned Stark.
Having arrived at the Iron Islands, Theon Greyjoy finds no one to receive him, but accepts a ride on horseback from a flirtatious girl headed in that direction. Along the way, he gets mighty frisky with the young lass, telling her her grandchildren will hear of this night. Meeting his father again after 9 years, Balon Greyjoy insults Theon for his attire, that he’s been made more loyal to the Starks than to him. Yara then enters, revealing herself t to be the girl from before, and Balon announces his intent to reject Robb Stark’s offer of alliance, instead taking the throne of Westeros for himself, Yara leading the armies. He pays the iron price for his crown, no one hands it to him. Also, did we mention Theon totally finger-banged his sister?
While Davos attempts to recruit a noted pirate to Stannis Baratheon’s army, across the sea Cersei meets with Tyrion. Tyrion presses that half the peasants will die with the Winter, and the other half rise up against her, especially after her order to kill children. Cersei reveals that she wasn’t the one to give the order, nor did Joffrey even tell her about it, but firmly insults Tyrion for his arrogance.
Later, Davos brings Stannis up to speed on having recruited the pirate Salador, when he and Melisandre order them out. They worry about his inability to defeat Renly Baratheon in the field, but she assures him he will if he gives himself to the “Lord of Light.” And by “give himself,” she totes means “boning.”
At night, Jon Snow awakes to see Craster carrying an infant boy off to the woods, and when he hears the child being attacked by mysterious creatures, he rushes in to help. However, Craster reaches him first, and knocks him out for the trouble.
Boy, there's just incest everywhere! 'Game of Thrones' season 2 has quite a number of stories to follow, but episodes like "The Night Lands" remind us how easily and readily we follow these characters across entire continents. Plus, free boobs! So it's always a worthwhile hour.
If you think this was good, just wait until next week! Did you get your fill of sword-swingin’ ‘Game of Thrones’ action? What did you think about the episode? Join us next week for an all-new episode recap of ‘Game of Thrones’s next effort “What is Dead May Never Die” on HBO!