‘True Blood’ Review: “Whatever I Am, You Made Me”

‘True Blood’ season 5 has sloppy seconds with its third episode of the year, as Sookie and Lafayette try to track down the missing Tara while fending off people's questions, while Bill and Eric share private meetings with Salome, Pam remembers more of her previous life and Jason comes to realize the hole he really needs to fill.

Last week’s ‘True Blood’ episode “Authority Always Wins” saw Sookie and Lafayette dealing with Tara’s new-found vampirism, while Bill and Eric endured interrogations by the Vampire Authority, and Pam reflected on her life before becoming a vampire in 1905 San Francisco, so what will the latest episode of ‘True Blood’ bring?

Read on for your in-depth recap of everything you need to know about ‘True Blood’ season 5 episode 3 “Whatever I Am, You Made Me!”

Still disoriented from the colloidal silver spray, Tara is shocked to find how quickly her injuries heal, and how keen her senses have become to the world around her.  Most vibrant of all, is the pulsating jugular or a nearby woman with a flat tire, whom Tara can’t resist pinning to her car and looking for a taste!  Catching her own reflection however, Tara recoils in horror and flees the scene.  She arrives at Merlotte's, bleeding from the eyes and begging for help from a confused Sam.

Back at the Vampire Authority council, the members continue squabbling over whether or not to kill Bill and Eric, when Guardian Roman dismisses them.  Worried about the damage Russell Edgington could have to the mainstreaming movement, he summons the new Nan Flanagan, none other than Steve Newlin himself!  Roman reminds the good Reverend that he’ll be desperately needed for PR if word of Russell Edgington gets out, though Steve isn’t sure if he even believes the rumor of his return.  After all is Elvis still alive (Bubba reference!)?

While Sookie’s attempts to enlist help from Pam fall on deaf ears, Bill and Eric are fitted with “iStakes,” devices which will instantly pierce their hearts if they get out of line.  Lafayette reminds Sookie that they’ll need a cover story when word of Tara’s vampire nature gets out, one that doesn’t involve Debbie pelt, as Sam watches Tara down bottle after bottle of True Blood before passing out.

The next morning, Sheriff Bellefleur arrives to the station to find that the picture Holly’s kids took of him has made its way to the internet, when Debbie Pelt’s parents Gordon and Barbara show up looking for her.  Across town, Jason bumps into his old teacher Ms. Steeler, with whom he’d…been educated by in the past.  Hint hint.  Back at Merlotte’s Terry leaves behind a crying Arlene, adamant that he can’t describe his mission or where he’s going, while Sookie quickly reads Sam’s mind to figure out that Tara’s in the walk-in freezer.  Sam was unnerved to find her like that, but at least understands that they gave Tara another chance to live, regardless of what she does with it.

Pam continues her string of flashbacks, this time remembering how Eric chose to bed her rather than any of her girls, but before the two can get to it, Eric interrupts Lorena feeding off a girl with a newly –sired Bill!  The two size one another up in their very first meeting, but Eric ultimately demands they apologize to Pam, pay for any damages, and leave his territory.  With Bill and Lorena out of the way, Pam and Eric get to it, leaving the 2012 Pam to cry blood alone in regret.

While Jason puts the moves on Ms. Steeler in her home in spite of her initial protests, the Pelts ask Alcide for any knowledge of their daughter.  Alcide has to be the one to tell her that he abjured her for getting back on V and hooking up with Marcus, though the Pelts insist he must be lying.  Sookie too finds herself questioned about Debbie by Sheriff Bellefleur, though he doesn’t seem to suspect anything.  Their conversation over, Andy next takes Holly outside to talk, shoving aside concerns of Debbie to invite his new lady-friend to go steady, in spite of both being town pariahs.  Ain’t that sweet?

While Jason post-coitally realizes that his romp with Ms. Steeler didn’t make him any happier,  Vampire councilor Salome invites Bill Compton to meet with her.  Or rather, not so much meet, as briefly discuss her back-story, before inviting him to fang-bang her right there in the corridor!  Back in Bon Temps, Jessica tries on a few dresses before a mysterious patron arrives in the store, smelling to her of fresh baked bread, cotton candy, and sex!  Still half-dressed, she races out of the store after the mysterious man, following him to an abandoned car in a field, where he disappears, but the smell lingers around the entire area.

Over at Fangtasia, Hoyt arrives decked out in goth looking to be bitten, while Pam further remembers her 1905 time with Eric.  After their romp, Pam asks to be made a vampire, rather than end up an olde madame, though Eric insists she doesn’t understand how powerful a commitment becoming a maker is.  Unsatisfied with his decision, Pam slashes her own wrists, leaving Eric no choice but to turn her!

Back at the Vampire Authority, Salome next calls Eric into her chambers, explaining that she’s aware of his sibling connection to Nora under Godric.  Why talk though, when she can disrobe, and unknowingly to Eric offer a bit of sloppy seconds?  Meanwhile over in the torture rooms, Rosalyn presses Nora to tell the truth, when Nora suddenly confesses to being a member of the Sanguinista movement, out to destroy mainstreaming.

Still high off the mysterious man’s smell, Jessica takes her aggression to Jason, though when he isn’t into it and insists that he’s been filling an emptiness inside him with meaningless sex, she offers to provide a sympathetic ear sex-free.  Back at Merlotte’s, Alcide demands an explanation for why news of both Russell on the loose and Debbie missing don’t unnerve Sookie, when a crash draws everyone’s attention to the kitchen.  Tara’s awoken, and thrown Lafayette across a room, revealing to Arlene and Alcide that she’s a vampire.  Angry and attempting to avoid ripping throats, Tara leaves, though not before insinuating to Alcide that Sookie’s hiding something from him.

As Bill and Eric realize they’ve been…up to the same activity…a host of guards greet them as they get off the elevator.  A still-naked Salome explains to her lover Roman (Seriously?  Three in one day?) that Bill and Eric can likely be trusted after all, but something must be amiss if Nora confessed to being a Sanguinista.  Roman refuses to give up on mainstreaming, in spite of all the difficulty it presents.

Back at Merlotte’s Arlene chides Lafayette for turning his own cousin into a vampire, when in a rage Lafayette goes all demon-faced and poisons his gumbo with bleach!  Realizing his frightening action at the last second, he dumps the gumbo, while outside Sookie comes clean about Debbie to an angered Alcide.  He rightly insists that he deserves better than lying after all he’s done for her, but Sookie only wants to know if he’ll go to the police.

Over in town, a dejected Tara walks alone on main street, stopping at a salon to take advantage of their tanning beds!  As Tara decides to end her life, and flips on the UV rays, Pam suddenly perks up, aware of her progeny’s distress, and only mutters “You stupid bitch…”

For a whole hour, it sure doesn't feel like "Whatever I Am, You Made Me" accomplished a whole lot.  Only at the very end did Alcide learn of Debbie's true fate, and Bill and Eric have yet to leave the Authority to chase after Russell.  The biggest development of the night comes from Tara's decision to end it all, but it took three episodes to even get there!  And you know that as a cliffhanger, Pam's going to come and save the day.  Meanwhile, Jason has sex, and we've still got no Russell...

Did you get your fill of fang-banging ‘True Blood’ action?  What did you think about the episode? Join us next week for an all-new episode recap of ‘True Blood’ season 5 episode “We'll Meet Again” on HBO!